I have been enamored of film for just about as long as I can remember. The smell of it, the gorgeous grain and the anticipation of waiting to see what you have captured, call to me like a siren song. I was absolutely over the moon when my sister gifted me a Diana F+ film camera for Christmas. You will just have to imagine my delight as I loaded my first roll of film in way too many years. I have been savoring each exposure and can’t wait to see what I have created on that rich black and white film.
This week my challenge with my 52 project was b&w. I have to be honest, I didn’t spend much time thinking of what to shoot this week. It has been definitely been one of those weeks where life just catches up with you. Sick babies, after school sports and life in general conspired to make me slow and lazy and I really slacked off. I went out yesterday morning for some time to myself with my dslr and Diana in hand and snapped this shot. It was so nice to stand in the snow and cold and capture the world around me. No matter the format, I just love photography.
Be sure to stop by Amy’s blog and see what she captured this week:)
I love photography. I love looking through the world around me through the lens. I love watching a person’s personality come through the photographs I take. What I don’t love….photographs of myself. I just am not comfortable getting my picture taken. I cringe at my image and wish away every imperfection that I see. That being said, I really want to push myself this year to get in front of the camera more. When my children’s children look back at our books and boxes full of memories I want them to see me there too. When one of my project 52 groups decided to do self portraits I jumped at the chance. I have done them before but I really thought that it was a good way to push myself out of my comfort zone and get my goal started right. So here I am. I made this first one a bit easier on myself by letting the images be slightly out of focus and soft(hey, baby steps!) to ease me into this. Processed only for a little warmth. No imperfection smoothed, removed or changed in any way. This is me.
I’m thrilled to be a part of some wonderful 52 week projects this year and today I want to tell you about my fantastic bloom forum group challenge. Nineteen other photographers and I are doing our project together to encourage each other on our journey and to introduce our blog readers to some wonderful new blogs. We will delve into 52 different ideas/themes that we will shoot each week for the year. Each week I will post my interpretation of the theme and then under my post, I will link another photographer who is part of the project for you to see her interpretation of the theme. While visiting the other blog you will notice a different link under her picture that will then take you to the next photographer’s blog. If you continue to click on the link under each picture, in the end you should see 19 other pictures and eventually make it back to my site. There are some amazing photographers in this group and I really hope that you take the time to visit them all.
My link buddy, Sarah, is wonderfully talented photographer, graphic designer and is truly a beautiful person. You won’t regret taking some time to view her work. Promise!
Earlier this week I shared a question that will be my motivation throughout this new year and hopefully my life and now I want to kick off my Project 52 with a phrase. This didn’t come to me easily but when I read it in a magazine last week it seemed to scream through me and delve straight into my heart.
Three simple words that are so much more. I have always been a people pleaser. I want people to like me and it bothers me when I feel like someone doesn’t. I spent a big part of my life judging my own worth on how other’s made me feel. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I gave myself permission to do things based on my needs, or more, the needs of my children rather than other’s. I can become a mama bear at the flip of a switch when needed. I thought that I had come into my own and that I valued myself more because of it. It didn’t take long to realize that I was again placing my self worth on someone or something else. Not on me.
Why is that so hard? I can’t answer that but I do know that reading those three words as simple as they are and as simple as that moment was, changed my heart. I don’t need to seek approval from other’s, I can give it to myself. I don’t need to be more than who I am. I am worth being loved just as I am, I am good enough to make my dreams my reality, I can write my story in any way that I want to because I am enough. Just me. God gave me everything that I need to live the life that I dream I just have to know it. HE made me and I am enough.
I am enough.
I am enough.
I am enough.
Last week I had the great fortune of being told about a new little slice of online heaven, Pinterest. I would describe Pinterest as a big online inspiration board. You can make up boards to please all of your varied interests and “pin” photographs that move you from all over the web onto your boards. It is beautiful, fun and quite addicting. Here is what I have been working on.
Since I can’t figure out how to do a screen shot and a post is always better with a picture here is something random;)
The end of a year tends to bring about reflection. Reflection on all that was good and often a look at what was left undone. It is no wonder that a new year brings with it ideas of change and plans to do what was left undone the year before. To make resolutions to be better, do better or just be more. I don’t like to make resolutions as I find that they are easily broken. With no real plan just an idea thrown to the wind it is hard to know where to begin, how to maintain, how to finish. Instead of a list of resolutions this year I decided to sit down alone surrounded by quiet and my thoughts to reflect on my life and what I want out of it. I took out my journal, made for me by a dear friend who really lives with her heart, and wrote what was on mine. A list of attainable goals for the new year in clear detail. Not only details of how to accomplish them but why I set them. It is one thing to say “Oh this year I want to spend more time with my family” but quite another to explore your heart and get out the reasons why. One of my 2011 goals is to learn how to play the guitar and not just to know how. I always wanted a house full of music not just radio and c.d.’s but instruments and voices. I can sing but I really want to add to that music and my children’s memories by playing as well. Mapping out clearly the why as well as the what makes it much more real and more likely to get done.
While I have my golas for the year and a plan to accomplish them I wanted to do something even bigger. I have been dreaming of something for a very long time and this is the year that I am going to make it a reality. It all started with this question,
Without a single hesitation a knew. My heart was clear in it’s desire even if it took my head a while to give in. Photography has always been something close to my heart in various different forms. I love the connections and stories and life that can be captured through my lens and am ready to spend my time and energy doing just that. I love Little Lotti and what I created and it is really hard for me to move on from that. I put a lot of heart and time and hard work into the clothing line but was feeling stifled by it. It is hard to do everything in a business like that and still be able to be present in my children’s lives. The passion was gone, I’m not really sure that it was ever there in the way that it should be to last. I am sad to set it aside but I feel it is the right thing for me to do at this time. Who knows, maybe one day I will revisit Little Lotti and design and the time will be right.
To be completely honest, I am scared to death about moving in this direction. I still feel that perhaps I am not quite good enough to do this but then I ask myself that question above and I know. I know that I have to try. I am willing to take the leap of faith that by working hard and listening to my heart as well as my head I will be able to make something of this. In the next few months I will launch my photography business, Nest Vintage Photography. I hope to bring something beautiful, honest and me to the industry in both portraits and fine art. I am excited and so very scared but ready to give it a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.